Let nobody advise you. If you are reading this, you have survived to this day. If you have survived till now, then you have achieved something great.
Did you see the number of people who died this year? Have you taken into stock the chances of you making it till now given the odds we all faced this year?
Enough of good advice, Mr and Mrs goody too shoes. Life has taught us that a lot of things are not as important as we are made to believe.
In the spirit of rebelling against the norm, here are some “bad advice” for you. You reserve the right to take them or move past but trust us when we say, good intentions led to this bad advice.
Give yourself a pat on the back even if you havent achieved anything:
People do this thing when they take stock of all they have not achieved and start feeling down at the end of the year. In their mind they believe this will motivate them to make more effort in the coming year, and deliver on better results.
“Fa fa fa! Fao!”
This is not the year to engage in such pretentious acts.
Here is bad advice; Give yourself a pat on the back even if you have not achieved anything. Why? Because many people like you died. from the #Endsars protests to Covid-19, to different crazy things this country throws you (let’s not even talk about the inflation).
Omo! Rest oo. Na who dey alive dey achieve.
There will always be other years in the future. You have done well. Take it easy on yourself and just breathe.
You have next year to plan and strategise and prioritize on whats important and like it or not, if you have time, you will find a way.
You don try.
Forget about work when office shuts down:
Not resting properly will kill you. It is that simple.
A lot of people pretend to rest while taking home the stress of work. They mentally ruminate on things that should be done and thin of ways to deliver on their KPIs. This december en, discontinue that lifestyle.
Rest and rest properly without thinking of work. Unless the company is about to go down and needs you to stay afloat or unless it directly affects something etremely important, remove thought from mental exertion.
You deserve proper rest after everything you have been through this year. So do it properly. May God deliver us from Brain aneurysms induced by excess mental stress.
Ask that your friend out, you wont die:
Not a lot of people have been fortunate enough to find love. This December en, try to as that friend out. Forget that whole thing about friend zones. Those do not exist with consenting adults. If he or she likes you, they will agree. If not, you guys will move on. We are all grown ups hia.
What they like you too but something had happenned and one of you died? En? Answer me I’m talking to you.
Ask them out. Nothing will happen.
Have wild crazy fun and intense debauchery:
For those who do not know, debauchery means intense indulgence bodily pleasures which usually include sex. If there is one thing we all agree on, the whole tensions of the year has made most people horny.
As long as you are doing it with consenting adults and aren’t cheating on your partner, fam, flex. Also, let us not restrict enjoyment to sex. Going out on dates, boat rides, events and crazy parties are also included in this fest of debauchery we are advising.
However, stay within reason and do not drink and drive and all decisions would be with moderation and pose no threats to you or anyone even in the slightest.
Problem no dey finish.
Take some time to be selfish:
You deserve self care. You deserve self love. If you are one who has always prioritized the need of others above yours, this is a good time to focus on you.
You need a new pair of shoes. You need a car. You need to be spoiled. You need to get a massage. Do whatever it takes to get things done for yourself. Everyone else has been enjoying your kindness since.
Now is the time to lavish it on yourself.
NB: All of these pieces of “bad advice” come from a place of love and consideration for you and only you. Kindly apply them with discretion and do not endanger yourself or others.