Office Palava

3 People Share Their Office Horror Stories

Hiding the truth

“My colleague and I had been sleeping with each other for months now. Because we don’t want others to know, we do all our getaway very discreetly and quietly. I was at his very recently. We wanted to get freaky so we ordered aphrodisiac and a blue pill. We mixed up a lot of things and drank it. Took laced brownies too because we really wanted to get fucked up. It was the weekend and we had a very stressful week. The sex was amazing. In fact, I felt like we were not in the universe anymore. I felt every single thing he did, every touch. It was like our minds were linked. I felt funny later on. Got up and couldn’t stop throwing up. He was awake but was not feeling any side effects of all our crazy mixtures. He called me weak sef. Was teasing me. Next morning, I got up to go home. It was a Sunday and I wanted it to myself. I went to straight to the bathroom to take a bath. I still felt like vomit. I was complaining about how I was feeling and how I will never try it again. He wasn’t saying anything. I thought he was sleeping, that the drugs had knocked him out. I finished taking a bath and went to disturb him, to tell him he’s the weak one. I kissed him and he felt so cold. That’s when I got worried. I shook him countless times and cried and all but he was not responding. I quickly got dressed and left. He was dead and I had to pretend to be shocked by the news at the office. They found him on Tuesday. His body was lifeless in that house till Tuesday. It is killing me that I know why but I don’t want to get arrested. I’ve lost my friend, lover and coworker. I can’t sleep anymore. I don’t know what to do.

Diabolical discovery

So my office just moved to its permanent site. It’s beautiful really. I love it. The compound is quite huge and my boss was awesome enough to create a leisure room for us. So it’s all work and play. We have this cleaner. She is quite advanced, in age I mean. If I am to take a guess, maybe 50-60. Thing is she gives me the jitters. Sometimes before she starts cleaning, she would stare at all of us, the entire building with so much scorn. It is scary. And I am happy it wasn’t just me. I asked my boss if she was a cleaner from one of these agencies and she told me she wasn’t. Apparently, the owner of the building said she had been the house carer for a very long time and pleaded she be retained. One of the boys quarters was given to her to live in. She always looked at us like we are over-privileged or like she hated us or something. I have tried being friendly but she is obviously not interested. I went to the back one time to smoke, close to the BQ. No one really goes there. There was this smell, very nasty like something had died. I couldn’t even smoke in peace because the smell was about to choke me. I decided to check around. The smell was stronger from her side of the building, but I couldn’t check because she showed up. She started shouting at me. It was the first time I heard her say anything other than “Good morning”. She asked me to get out and mind my own business, She said I should not let her stretch hands against me and make me mad. Ah!! Fear catch me o. I told my boss and she waved it as “she is old. She probably has her own things she is up to.” I didn’t like it. Last week, new cleaners came to the building. My boss had apparently gone to view the BQ over that weekend to see what else we could use the extra space for and this woman screamed at her and told her we cannot touch the BQs. My boss also complained about the smell. It was all suspicious and she hired cleaners to do a thorough cleaning and if need be, drag the lady out. So this woman has been in that house with her husband. I don’t even understand. They both make sacrifices and just stay there. There were all sorts of animals there, bloodstains on the wall, different colours of candles and pictures of people. Thankfully our picture wasn’t there (at least mine) How on earth did no one know she lived with someone? I was scared o. My boss probably ensured this didn’t get to the media or something because it was disgusting and disturbing. The things were rotting there. And they were ok with it. Na wa. The owner of the building said he is not aware but abeg. Shuu. I don’t even feel like going to work again. Things dey occur.

Attempted Murder

So this is not a recent story but I decided to share. Last year, we were all peacefully sitting at the office when the receptionist came to call one of our colleagues. I don’t even know how the whole thing started but we started hearing screaming. Trust that everyone ran downstairs to find out what was going on. My colleague was on the floor being punched endlessly. Security was really trying to drag the visitor off but this man, very huge, would not even give anyone a chance to carry him off. My guy was bleeding like this. I quickly jumped into the scene and held the man’s hand. I was begging him. I had to beg because e fit beat me. The man said, “This is the rat that has been sleeping with my wife abi. Sending her pr***k. You go die today”. My boss came into the scene to beg this man too. It took three of us to get this man off. He stood up, cleaned himself and went outside. My guy could barely stand up. Baba’s face was finished. I don’t even know how nobody saw this man coming back. He walked in with a gun, shot my guy in his d**k and said “let me see how you want to send pics again” and then walked away. Of course, nobody held him. He had a gun!!! My guy lost his job and d**k that day. I feel bad for him but he brought it to himself. He use to always brag of his sugar mummies. He na went to jamb mafia wife. Chai.

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